Warning: tl;dr, but if you care anything about politics and/or civil rights, please read.
A little over 2 weeks ago, something so disturbing happened to me that I didn't know how to publicly react or respond, so I took some time to process it. I spoke with my dearest friends and mentors both inside and outside of the fiber arts community. I have an extremely diverse group of friends, everyone from executives at Fortune 500 companies (I've worked at 3 over the years: Otis Elevator Company, Fisher-Price and Amazon) to world famous scratch DJs to zoologists, philatelists, philanthropists, drag queens, sex workers to sewists, knitters, spinners, weavers, felters, crocheters, tatters, embroiderers, local small business owners to recovered crack heads, nurses, doctors, lawyers, professional skateboarders, semi-pro wrestlers, Heavy Metal icons, sanitation workers, Pilates instructors and so on. I also have over 50 penpals and mail art swappers around the world within my online social network that have been wondering why I have been so quiet online. One simple piece of advice from a friend that really resonated with me was, "follow your heart". Another piece of advice that I received from multiple white friends that also resonated with me but in an equal and opposite way was to keep my mouth shut because nobody wants to hear a minority whine about discrimination and anyone who ever has complained has regretted it in the end. This is exactly the type of fear and loathing that sadly, is ingrained in society. The flourishing of the opposition is dependent upon POC silence. The infrastructure of our society is based upon this principle.
So it's no secret if you know me IRL and/or follow me on social media, that for the past year, I've worked part time at DWW, a yarn store located south of the James River in Midlothian, VA. I worked retail 3-4 days/week, worked overtime for a ton of special events and taught crochet classes. Let's put it this way. I worked so much that I had to put Xena in an afterschool program. What people outside of the greater RVA area may not be aware of demographically, is that outside of RVA (and Charlottesville, go Hoos!) and Northern VA , which are all quite liberal and relatively ethnically diverse, the vast majority of this state is very conservative and Red. Because I barely spent any time out on "The Turnpike" when I lived here before, it wasn't until I started working out there this past year that I realized, geographically speaking, for the most part (there are miniscule exceptions) anywhere south of the river like Midlothian, Chester, Farmville or Powhatan isn't just conservative; it's straight up MAGA. There is a huge military presence in VA because of Norfolk (the largest naval base in the USA). There are also countless evangelicals in general because it's The South.
I lived in RVA for 7 years prior to living in SF for 7 years before returning to RVA when we bought our house in Henrico County and moved here in February 2023. Henrico isn't a liberal paradise by any stretch of the imagination but any local would agree, it's not Powhatan. For the entire time that I lived here before, in the City of Richmond (behind Maymont), I didn't even know that DWW existed. Oddly, I discovered it through my co-worker, at Atelier in SF, Catherine Dunford, whose grew up in RVA. Her now deceased father was the former editor of the Times Dispatch. One time she brought me back a souvenir hank of Storied Fiber Art in the Maymont colorway from DWW when she was visiting her sister in Salisbury. Then when I was back here for the APS summer stamp show (when I was pregnant with Xena) in the summer of 2017, I visited DWW for the first time at their original location on the other side of Sycamore Square. I actually happened to visit on a day that Sheila from Urban Girl was having a trunk show and that was the first time I ever met Sheila or Michelle!
Reflecting back to the Winter of 2023, everyone knew how sad and bittersweet it was for me to leave the vibrant, progressive fiber arts community of the Bay Area and especially working at Atelier. I had such an incredibly diverse base of coworkers, students and friends. In the wake of the pandemic, Stitches aka XRX went bust. Webs sold out to LoveCrafts. Russia declared war on Ukraine. Signature Needles permanently closed their doors. When I moved back here, I brought my resume and cover letter in person to DWW and Center of the Yarniverse. Neither shop was hiring. I attended local meet ups and made many new and wonderful fiber arts friends while simultaneously meeting many super judge-y, ultra-conservative, NRA loving, anti-immigration, pearl clutching, Bible banging fiber artists, but I persisted. When I attended meet ups and snarky knitters said anyone as fat as Jacqueline Cieslak shouldn't be showing their bodies in public and that Parker Williams must be anorexic, I quietly mumbled about diversity and inclusion and was politely ignored. Week in and week out people (who don't even cross the river) exaggerated about Black crime in the City of Richmond or made snipes about how lucky I was to get out of SF before it was overrun by homeless Mexican illegals. Another favorite topic of discussion, popular throughout the state of VA, was proving how truly Virginian anyone was by their ability to proudly trace their genealogy back to the original settlers of Jamestown or this or that plantation. Yet while I may not share the values and opinions of others, so long as they aren't shoved down my throat, I can be down to knit or crochet with almost anyone. I've been code switching since I was kid. As a matter of survival, I can laugh and smile and bow and worship with the best of them.
Eventually, in August 2023, DWW hired me. What they did not inform me of at the time was that they were hiring me as a DEI to replace Chris, the only male (and gay) employee at the shop. That felt gross but I desperately needed money and they assured me that it wasn't because of his sex or sexual preference. They tried to give me all of these examples of how he was a "bad" employee and how the "writing was already on the wall" but the fact of the matter is that multiple homophobic customers complained about a gay man working at a yarn store and what they did to Chris and how they did it completely lacked grace, nor did it set me up for success at all. I felt as though he resented me as a result of his dismissal and I do not blame him for having this impression but Chris if you are reading this, I am your ally, not your enemy. My husband and I are both bisexual. I am more open about sex and sexuality than a porn star. I will never understand why you designed a knit hat with a brioche brim but I wish you all the best!
Hindsight is a mofo. If Chris' dismissal wasn't a warning of what was to come, I should've taken the fact that on my first day of training, Erin, the manager at DWW warned me that I was never, under any circumstances, to adjust the Pandora/Spotify playlists when working at the shop as a sign. Cue Tuff Crew "Danger Zone". So for the past year I've been exposed to more Taylor Swift, Dave Matthews Band and (fill in the blank) white contemporary country music than I ever need to hear for the rest of my life. That being said, I finally broke down in the last few months and started playing The Greg Foat Group, Blue Note Jazz classics and Cuban bongo instrumentals when I was teaching and all of my students loved it, duh. At least every time my phone rings, it still plays the beginning of The Incredible Bongo Band's "Apache" and no one can take that away from me.
Anyone who's ever worked at an American yarn store around X-Mas knows how ridiculous the atmosphere can be. Suddenly, 2 weeks before X-Mas, everyone frantically drags ancient WIPs out of their attics and basements, demanding impossibly expedited finishing services. At that time - December 2023, DWW, had a German contractor named Ute who was a finisher and teacher at the shop. Apparently she used to own a yarn store in Carytown in the 80s and/or 90s but the local gossips claim she ran it into the ground because of poor customer service. This I believe. Except for one time when she surprised everyone with little custom die-cut nametags for all of the employee stockings she knit to display over the fireplace in the lounge area, Ute was never anything but cold and rude to me. She wouldn't even shake my hand when I first introduced myself to her (and this has nothing to do with Covid because I've seen her physically touch plenty of other people, especially when teaching). If she ever called the shop and I answered, she would ask if there was anyone else but me whom she could speak with. Initially I assumed she blamed me for replacing Chris and perhaps felt threatened by me also being a teacher but her behavior towards me was perplexing to myself and others.
One day, right before X-Mas, she came into the shop, flew into a rage, demanded an envelope that had payment for some stockings she finished. I had no idea what she was talking about, because no one even told me that she was due money even though there was a Slack channel where it should've been communicated prior by Erin, the manager. Long story short, Ute not only accused me of stealing her money but also of stealing the stockings she made. Erin had her money in her handbag all along. The customer already picked up the butt ugly stockings. What the actual F---?! This escapade will not surprise any minority reading this right now but the fact of the matter is, this NEVER happens to white people. Wrongly being accused of stealing is something many white people will never experience in their entire lives although the average minority frequently is put in this position multiple times throughout their life. We have to play constant D. Accusing a minority of stealing is one of the most played out tricks in any racist's handbook. All that being said, Ute's behavior was so blatantly wrong that even Debbie, the owner, had to admit it and she apologized to me about it but she also told me not to tell anyone about the incident. Cue Inspectah Desk "Protect Ya Neck".
Eventually tensions died down but not before Ute and Debbie fell out for reasons unbeknownst to anyone or even related to the above. Ute stopped doing finishing and/or teaching at the shop, but still came in as a customer and repeatedly harassed me and made me feel uncomfortable. I complained and instead of taking me at my word, the 2nd most played out trick in any racist's handbook was played; they installed surveillance cameras.
Meanwhile, I had to deal with racist customers wearing MAGA and Blue Lives Matter gear coming into shop. Just the usual shit, people asking me where I'm "really" from, remarking on how well I speak English. People telling me how much I should thank God that I was adopted by white people. One customer called asking to speak to Erin. I told her she wasn't there. She asked who I was and to describe myself to her. I said my name again. She responded, "Oooh, you're that little dark skinned girl." I replied, "Yes, I am the only non-white employee at the shop." She confessed, "No, I'd rather speak to Erin", as if because of my skin color I was somehow unqualified to answer a knitting question. Barbara the bookkeeper told me how active her husband was in the Lions Club because they only donate eyes to poor white kids and not minorities and I just had to stand there and suck it up with a shit-eating grin. (Surprisingly) she's vegan and repeatedly digressed on the benefits of eating "clean" Asian food. These are the types of microaggressions I had to grin and bear on the regular. Anytime I ever complained, Debbie and Erin just became more distant and annoyed.
Anyway, we survived the holidays. Marie Greene came to promote not just 1 but 2 books. There were endless trunk shows. I worked my first James River Yarn Crawl, highly medicated with a double ear infection. Amber came to visit and we rode the bus together to MDSW. I brought fiber artists to shop at the store from near and far. I promoted the shit out of DWW. I never missed a single day of work. I never called in sick. I was never late. I never complained about the fact that employees couldn't even clock in or out at DWW before starting the computer and Rain software and closing out the drawer - so everyone works 10-15 minutes unpaid before and after their shift without any timeclock adjustment. I even personally dropped $900 of my own money on the Ritual Dyes trunk show. I designed and tested multiple free patterns for the shop without any reimbursement. I knit and crocheted countless samples. I had to get Keyser to retrieve the samples and some reimbursement for me after I was let go; as they were depending on just keeping them and not paying me. Just scroll through my blog over the past year and see just how much booty I kissed.
At the end of April, much to the chagrin of the customers and staff alike, Debbie announced that we would be switching to summer hours from May-September. Not only were my hours reduced to 1/10 of what they were, classes and teaching opportunities were majorly reduced too. In retrospect, she probably did this intentionally, well knowing how much I needed the money, hoping that maybe I would quit before she had to let me go. What's rather interesting though is that neither Erin or Barbara had their hours reduced. For any young bucks reading this, if you are the only non-white employee at a company and your hours are reduced but the others are not, GTFO. Your employers do not have your best interests in mind. They are not equal opportunity employers. They are selfish. And even though my spidey senses were on high alert, I kept plugging away. I did whatever I was told. I was encouraged to take as much vacation as I wanted. We were even told to tell the customers that the reason our hours were being so significantly reduced was because DWW wanted the staff to have a(n) (unpaid) break. I was sent home early almost every time I came into work so they could "save money" and the reason that is in quotations is because after pretending that DWW was struggling all summer, Debbie announced that they were planning a trip to Scotland in June 2025 in conjunction with Rowan Travel that would cost $10,000/traveler to attend. Just to support DWW, Amber and I each paid the $100 non-refundable down payment to go on this trip. Debbie was visibly surprised when she found out that we were going. I supposed she assumed neither of us could afford it but that's what credit cards are for. Also, the payment for the trip was broken down in multiple installments. In my delusion, I imagined that this would be a magical bonding experience with the DWW team. What I didn't realize was that it was actually a catalyst to my demise.
At the end of June, as recommended by DWW, I took some time off to bring Xena back to the Bay Area. She misses it so much and it has been really hard on both of us. While back in SF, I taught a couple workshops at Atelier and was quickly reminded of how welcoming and loving the fiber arts community and culture is out west in comparison to these east coast haters. While still on vacation, on July 2, all of the staff received an email informing us that Candice Dull was hired. Even the context of the email was a lie:
"Candice Dull will be joining us this fall. She and I have talked for almost two years about bringing her on board, but her preschooler and our cash flow challenges put this on hold. Instead, after Chris left, Kimberlee took on the extra shift and we went down one staff member in number. Candice will not take on a teaching role, as we have that area covered, but rather she will be someone who will eventually run a subscription box program for us. For the moment, she will work one day per week and one Saturday per month. She will onboard this fall.
Here is the proposed schedule we have so far:
Tuesdays - Keyser & Candice
Wednesdays - Kimberlee (Nikki working on inventory)
Thursdays - Keyser (Barbara working on accounting/filing) Debbie in at 5:00 for stitch night
Fridays - Kimberlee & Angela
Saturdays - 2 staff, rotating"
Chris didn't leave. He was fired. We weren't down 1 employee. I replaced Chris. Debbie and Candice might've spoken for 2 years about her being hired but none of the other employees were ever informed. I asked Debbie why I couldn't keep working on Tuesdays and Thursdays and she insisted that Candice must work on Tuesdays. Again, even though the schedule was returning to 10AM-5PM, my hours were significantly reduced by 2 whole days. Again, neither Barbara or Erin had their hours reduced. Still, I didn't complain. I just said, "OK". If you can read between the lines and anyone who is a regular at the shop knows that Candice attends the Thursday night meet ups. Debbie always sent me home early on Thursdays so I would never even have a chance to attend the Thursday night meet ups. Obviously she prefers her white friend over me. If she even cared a bit about me, she would've tried to include me in the meet ups.
During this same time, I asked why, as the only Korean-American employee I wasn't scheduled to work the La Bien Aimee trunk show special event DWW were hosting in a few weeks. I had originally put myself on the Google calendar and then someone removed my name and replaced it with Angela's. I specifically pointed out that I wanted to share my own personal experiences as a Korean-American fiber artist and the inspiration that Aimee Gille has given me throughout her journey. Crickets. Finally, Debbie begrudgingly remarked that I might possibly work 2 hrs of the event. Now, even the dumbest racist would probably take advantage of using a POC to promote another POC but she wasn't having it.
July 13. The attempted assignation of Trump. All of the MAGA folks were feeling themselves. Debbie just returned from her bourgeois women's retreat in Napa and actually had the gall to brag about it in a newsletter where she went into rather ambiguous detail about how she had some spiritual epiphany that would soon be revealed based upon 4 images (2 of dogs, one of a sun rise and one of a stain glassed church window) while being treated to exotic meals by a private chef in a vineyard. I was still in NOLA for the Happening (my other passion). Everyone remarked behind her back about how tacky it sounded after trying to pretend that she was financially struggling all summer. On the Monday evening of July 15, when she texted me and asked me to come into work before the Tuesday morning meet up and my shift started, I was utterly oblivious of what she had in store for me.
July 16. I rushed into work after dropping Xena off at summer camp, assuming she had some exciting news to tell me about new yarn we were carrying. I still had my bags in my hands when I entered the lounge area where Debbie was sitting. She had a very stern look on her face. I could tell simply by her demeanor that something was up. She didn't waste any time. She informed me that I was an outstanding teacher and amazing employee and she was more than happy to give me positive references but that there was no longer a place for me there. She welcomed me to keep attending the meet ups and continue shopping at the store. Really? Really. I asked her why there was no place for me in her otherwise all white employee business and what were her grounds for letting me go if I was such a great employee? Silence. I told her she just wanted to be surrounded with clones of herself. I questioned how after all of the shit she put me through with Ute that she could have the nerve to replace me with another white employee. She told me to give her the keys. Barbara was sitting out in the parking lot watching all of it over the surveillance cameras on her phone. She came in as I was leaving and I could tell by the smug, satisfied smile on her face how happy she was to see me go. I'm sure their scared-asses wiped the security footage clean by now but if there is any chance in Hell that it could be obtained, I have nothing to hide. I would love to see the footage broadcast everywhere. I would also like to note that Debbie intentionally chose that Tuesday to let me go because she knew my dear friend and coworker Keyser was on vacation and wouldn't be there to defend me, nor would Pam or Nikki, my other coworkers who are also friends and very nice people.
That day was a very sad day for me. When I came home from work early, I broke down and cried explaining to Xena that I had been let go from DWW. Xena exclaimed, "But Mommy, you're such a good knitter and you're the best crocheter," and do you know what I had to tell my 6 year old mixed race daughter? "It doesn't matter how well I knit or crochet, I cannot change my skin color and neither can you. Do not ever forget this day and what they have done to us."
And if that wasn't enough, I checked my email and what do I see in my inbox? A message from Rowan Travel informing me that the deadline for the first down payment for the Scotland trip was that week. So not only did DWW intentionally get rid of me before I could participate in the La Bien Aimee trunk show, they also did it so Amber and I, the 2 POCs planning on going to Scotland wouldn't ruin their trip with our presence. OK, DWW, you won that one. Amber and I just informed Rowan that we won't be going on the trip but we also informed them why. Emma from Rowan compassionately made an exception to their nonrefundable deposit policy, refunded our deposit and apologized that we were forced to cancel our reservations under these circumstances and encouraged us to travel with them in the future. I also spoke to Aimee Gille about what happened to me at DWW and while she sympathized with me, she has enough of her own crap to deal with and I do not expect her to fight my battles or fly a flag for me. She sold her yarn wholesale outright to DWW. The deal was done long before any of this went down.
All this being said, I also want to make it crystal clear that I have nothing against Candice. I barely know her. She seems like a fine knitter; we even knit many of the same patterns. I have no idea if she crochets. I am positive that with her blonde hair, blue eyes and porcelain white skin, she exemplifies DWW's image expectations and also looks like she could be related to my Mark Zuckerberg-ass looking husband. It was rather distasteful seeing her photo flaunted in the newsletter immediately following the La Bien Aimee trunk show but considering the newsletter mailed out directly after that was promoting movie night at DWW with a special screening of "Steel Magnolias", she is truly where she belongs.
I don't expect anyone who attends the meet ups to defend, support or agree with me. Their relationship with the shop has nothing to do with me. I will miss the meet ups, as f*cked up and drama filled as they were. Never forget "the curtain incident" of 2024 but I lived here happily for 7 years before without even knowing that DWW existed. I cannot consciously continue attending meet ups at the shop. Some of my friends encouraged me to show up and spite them but this toxic fiber arts "community" is a joke. Debbie, Erin and Barbara don't attend the meet ups because they sit upstairs spying on everyone over the surveillance cameras. I refuse to be a spectacle for their enjoyment. The real friends I've made through the meet ups will always remain my friends. Meet ups are fun but what I really love the most is planning for and attending special events with Amber, crocheting with my best crochet buddy, Kristine, chilling with Kate B. the coolest goth knitter known and knitting with Rozalia while she does embroidery.
Finally, don't get it twisted. Businesses will frequently claim that they care about diversity and similar to green washing, use the fact that they sell products made by minorities in their shops as an example of how caring and broad minded they are. But just because a business is profiting from selling products made by POCs, does not necessarily mean that they actually care about POCs or that any of their profits directly empower POCs. It certainly doesn't directly imply that they care about uplifting or amplifying POCs. Because Walmart sells shit made in China doesn't mean they care anything about Asian culture. Even if it rarely feels like it, where you shop and how you invest your time and money can make a difference. When given the opportunity, I would prefer to wake up on the right side of history and support businesses I truly, ethically believe in.
I'm a survivor. I will survive. If you want to help support me, please feel free to visit or share the link to my Etsy shop. If any fiber artists or yarn shops reading this need samples knit and/or crocheted, please reach out. I will be assisting Kim Dyes Yarn with some samples in the future and I really appreciate her compassion and support. If anyone wants any custom knit or crocheted pieces or if anyone wants to take a crochet or knitting lessons from me or needs help finishing a project, I am available. I write this message as a word of warning to others and most importantly an example for Xena to follow. There is a reason why a black man named George Floyd was murdered by police and why a white woman named Debbie Floyd can own and operate a small racist empire. There is a reason why when I talk to a stranger over the phone, tell them my name is Kimberlee Fuller and they think I'm white (because I was purchased as a 6 month year old orphan by white human traffickers for $7,000 in 1978) because I sound white. And there is a reason why when they see my dark skin and slanted eyes and meet Kimberlee Seung Wha Fuller in real life that their entire demeanor changes.
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